Beth Hamon
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Ten Miles is the round-trip distance from my home to the bike shop where I worked as a mechanic for many years. It's the same round-trip distance from my home to the two synagogues I serve in Portland. The album tells stories of journeys -- made and not made, taken and revisited -- and how we often travel a very long distance in order to come back a short way to where we ought to be.

"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." --Martin Buber

Beth Hamon - Ten Miles - Liner notes  

  1. Modah Ani
  2. Ten Miles
  3. Adonai S'fatai
  4. Lev Tahor
  5. Gloria
  6. Ozi v'Zimrat Yah
  7. Sparks
  8. Chameleon
  9. R'faeynu
10. Hole in My Pocket
11. Harvest of Love

all music and English lyrics by Beth Hamon
all Hebrew lyrics from the Jewish liturgy or the Psalms
this recording copyright 2013 Beth Hamon
all rights reserved


******************
Modah Ani
I open my eyes and stretch my limbs
Look at the way a brand new day begins
Before I even get out of bed
A simple, sweet prayer is in my head
And the words flow from my lips as I softly sing

Modah ani l'fanecha,
Melech chai v'kayam
Shehechezarta bi
Nishmati b'chemlah;
Raba emunatecha


I get out of bed and tug on my clothes
What lies in store today? I can't really know
But I feel Your presence hovering near
And I'm so glad just to be this thing called "here"
That the words flow from my lips as I happily sing

Modah ani l'fanecha,
Melech chai v'kayam
Shehechezarta bi
Nishmati b'chemlah;
Raba emunatecha


(I thank You, O God, Eternal and living Ruler,
who in mercy has returned my soul to me;
great is Your faithfulness.)

Ten Miles
Wheel spins around and goes nowhere
I feel like I have just been marking time
Wobbling side to side, creaking to and fro
Hours pass while I feel nailed down

Wheel spins around and shows me pictures
Pictures of the choices never made
Chances never taken, or at least not followed through
Fear has kept me frozen to the ground

Ten miles as the crow flies, if you know where to go
Takes more time with your feet upon the ground
Ten miles as the crow flies is fine if you're a crow
As for me, I'll take the long way round

Wheel spins around and makes my head hurt
While I wonder at the wreckage at my feet
How did I end up here while traveling nowhere
How did I land on unfamiliar ground    

Wheel spins around and brings me back again
To the brick wall where I crashed so long ago
Picking through the debris, I find my missing pieces
And bolt them all back on where they belong

Ten miles as the crow flies, if you know where to go
Takes more time with your feet upon the ground
Ten miles as the crow flies is fine if you're a crow
As for me, I'll take the long way round

Wheel spins around and takes me places
Places I have been before and places yet to see
Brings me back to people who will help propel me forward
My head out of the clouds and my feet on solid ground
    
Wheel spins around and helps me get there
Wherever there is, someplace that I know I have to go
No matter what it takes, I know I'm not alone
I'm traveling light with good companions now

Ten miles as the crow flies, if you know where to go
Takes more time with your feet upon the ground
Ten miles as the crow flies is fine if you're a crow
As for me, I'll take the long way round

Adonai S'fatai
Adonai S'fatai tiftach, ufi yagid t'hilatecha
(Eternal God, open my lips that my mouth may declare Your praise. --Ps. 51:17)


Lev Tahor    
The shed behind my house is filled
With junk that I trip over
I know I need to clean it out
It's hard to find the time

The back room of my heart is filled
With anger and frustration
Doesn't do me any good
I wish it wasn't mine

Lev Tahor b'ra li Elohim -- Oh God help me clean my heart
v'ruach chadesh b'kirbi -- and bring new strength to my spirit

Whenever happiness happens
I can't seem to trust it
Like a rug that's waiting to be pulled
Right out from under me

I want so badly to believe
That all the world's made for me
Can't get past the dust and ash
To trust in what I see

Lev Tahor b'ra li Elohim -- Oh God help me clean my heart
v'ruach chadesh b'kirbi -- and bring new strength to my spirit

I'm weary from this heavy load
Like a backpack filled with bricks
And things I cannot fix
All by myself

I need to put this burden down
And walk away from my old pain
Wash me clean like rain
And return to You
And return to me ------

Put the broom into my hands
To sweep out all the trash
And the paintbrush and the can
To make my heart shine clean again

Dear God, the Great Whatever
Who brought me to this place
Give me courage to forgive
Trade my anguish for Your grace

Lev Tahor b'ra li Elohim -- Oh God help me clean my heart
v'ruach chadesh b'kirbi -- and bring new strength to my spirit

(--Ps. 51:12)

Gloria
When she was young she ran away to find the spotlight
Became a bluesy jazz-band singer, sang for Castro in Havana
Least that's what she used to tell me when I was a kid
And I believed her, I believed her

I later learned that she was thrown out by her parents
A milquetoast father and a crazy mom, both mad they'd never had a son
She got married to the first guy who had come along
Just to get away, get away

Gloria, you were only born too soon
too early to have choices or stand up for who you were
But you had a heart so strong that it could not be brought down
And golden eyes that showed the dreamer you once were
Gloria

She gave birth to a handsome little boy
The son her folks had always wanted, so they came along and took him
Then the fellow made his exit leaving her alone
Wondering what to do, what on earth to do

Another man, this one kinder, said he loved her
A baby girl and then another, once again a wife and mother
There were mostly hugs and smiles enough for all of us
Except for her -- was it enough for her?

Gloria, you were only born too soon...

When I grew up, that changed everything
We fought so hard we nearly tore ourselves apart
'Cause I could see the black hole of your past
You told the truth not long before you died
Of the broken legacy your life had left to you
Too late I saw the strength of your love

We are told we're supposed to love our parents
But in times of stony silence, words of love can go unspoken
Then the best that can be hoped for is to understand
And hope that love will soon return

So every day when I wake up in the morning
And I look into my mirror, see you smiling back at me
That's an immortality I guess I could live with
If only it would bring you back to me

Gloria, you were only born too soon...

Ozi v'Zimrat Yah
If I do what I love, they say the money's sure to follow
So far I've just ended up doing what I love
They say if I trust in the Universe then all my dreams will come true
But the Universe is a big place,
like a train without an engineer
And sometimes my life feels like it's going off the rails

I try to keep the faith -- what is faith? -- some days it's so hard
To carve out enough time to be inspired and create
But when I come home bone-tired, my hands filthy and so sore
Well, the Universe isn't leaving
pots of money at my door
So the next day I must find the strength to do it all again

Ozi v'zimrat Yah,
Vai-y'hi-li lishu-ah

Where is my Strength and my might;           
Oh be my saving grace.

Our lives are all so busy, juggling a hundred things
There's work to do, bills to pay and somewhere time to sleep
For a little while every day, I try to make some music
I don't care if it's new or old
Just as long as I play something
Like a prayer that clears my head before I head on out the door

Why on earth do I keep chasing this exasperating dream
Why should anybody care if I write yet another song?
But when I play my music and the people sing along
Well, I don't know if You can hear me
But I hear the people singing
And in Your grand design that's more than good enough for me

Ozi v'zimrat Yah,
Vai-y'hi-li lishu-ah

You are my Strength and my might;           
Oh be my saving grace.

When I think on all the things I've had to live without
I can get myself so worked up in my righteous rage
Then I stop and I remember all that I've been given
By the One who knows there's more to me
Than just the things that I can see
And I'm still here to work out what I'm here for anyway

And if no one ever offers me the moon and stars above
I've already been given more than I could ever want
'Cause the chance to carve out time to write songs that folks will sing
Is the best gift I could hope for
Just to get the people singing
And that may well be why God put me here, just that and nothing more

Ozi v'zimrat Yah,
Vai-y'hi-li lishu-ah

Adonai is my Strength and my might;           
Oh be my saving grace.

(Hebrew from Isaiah 12:2)

Sparks
I think the law is wrong
The one that tells us not to light a spark on God's holy day
The law can't understand
The workings of the human heart in all we do and say

When I look into your eyes, sparks go off behind mine
And I can't see for all the glare
But I know that you are there and all I need's your hand in mine
To keep me warm

A jar broke in the world
And it cut loose a hundred million sparks, they fell all around
Well I'm a lucky girl
Because a spark fell right into my life, turned it upside down

When I look into your eyes, sparks go off behind mine
And I can't see for all the glare
But I know that you are here and now we have your spark with mine
To keep us warm

Chameleon
All my life I've been a chameleon,
A little lizard who can change its skin
I have always been
Whatever the scenery required me to be
Anything so I'd fit in

We moved around from town to town
Never stayed long enough to put roots down
Observe carefully
Put the mask on, act like a native son
Till the pretense wore me down

In the back of my mind I've carried memories
Fragments of another tongue
Pieces of a melody sad but sweet
Could this be where I was really from?

Anah eilech meiru-chechah?
V'anah mipnechach Ev'rach?
Od'cha al ki nora'ot nifleiti;
Nifla'im ma'asecha;
V'nafshi yoda'at m'od.


My mom and dad were misfits too
In each new place they wondered what to do
How to get along
With the neighbors who could somehow tell
The disguise we wore to hide our Selves

I know my grandfather did the same
When to this golden land he came
Had to find a job
Put the mask on, sound like a native son
Without a thought he changed his name

In the back of my heart there stands a multitude
Of everyone who came before
Who learned too soon to tone their difference down
So this new land would unlock the door

Anah eilech meiru-chechah...

I learned so many others' lines
That it took me a very long while
To find my own true smile
And let my real light shine through
Till it shone on my people, too

It took some time but now this chameleon
No longer has to shed its skin
'Cause I fit right in
With the children of the multitude
In this patchwork quilt we call home

Anah eilech meiru-chechah...

(Hebrew from Psalm 139:7 & 14:
Where can I escape from Your spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
I praise You, for I am awesomely, miraculously made;
Your work is wonderful, I know it well.)

R'faeynu
R'faeynu Adonai v'ney-rafeh
Hoshieynu v'ni-vasheyah
R'faeynu Adonai v'ney-rafeh
Ki t'hila-teynu atah

Heal us, Adonai, and we will all be healed
Adonai, You are the Source of all we praise

(text from the evening liturgy)

Hole in my Pocket
There's a hole in my pocket
As big as the hole in my heart
There's a hole in my pocket
Wonderin' why I can't get a new start

In this one life I'm trying to live
'Cause really there is nothing I wouldn't give
To begin again

They cannot tell by my look
How deep I am in the hole
When the usher takes my ticket
And I'm shown the seat to find my soul

I only know I've got to get clear
Of the mess that landed me in here
I want to lose my pain
I don't want to make the same mistakes again

There's a hole in my pocket
Looks a lot like the hole in my heart
There's a hole in my pocket
Yelling at me wake up and make a new start

In this one life I'm trying to live
'Cause really there is nothing I wouldn't give
To begin again

Feel like a drowning man
Reaching for that last knot on the line
Too tired to swim alone
Weary of pretending everything's fine

This ain't no Truth-Or-Dare
I can't lie and say I just don't care
We're talkin' about reality here
'Cause there may be Something left to fear
In this wide world

There's a hole in my pocket
It's bigger than the hole in my heart
Got a hole in my pocket
Gotta find my way to a brand new start

In this one life I'm tryin' to live
'Cause really there is nothing I wouldn't give
To begin again

Harvest of Love  
The wind rattles the leaves above my head
And blanketed walls sway to and fro
With every chilly gust
We sit inside and try to trust
That the whole thing won't fall down and crash below

The fir tree and the cedar drop their needles down
And birds fly home in the fading light
We sit inside this hut
Stare across at our warm house
And wonder what the point is all about -- all about

Life can be short, but that doesn't mean that we can't make it sweet
With the work of our hands and some help from above
We'll gather in a harvest of love
We'll gather in a harvest of love

We like to make our soup a bit too thick
'Cause we have faith that God will provide
When the rain begins to fall
It drips into the pot
And we can eat until we're satisfied

When we're done we huddle all together
We laugh and joke and sing a song or two
And when the cold wind blows
We each grab a pole
To keep our hut from flying far from view -- far from view

Life can be short...

After eight days we will take the hut down
Store the blankets and the poles until next year
And nestle by the fire
In our safe, strong house
Warm and dry and grinning ear to ear

But there are those who have no home to go to
Who live without warm clothes or a decent meal
We must share our plenty so all will have enough
And our harvest of love will be real -- let's be real

Life can be short...

***************

Beth Hamon: Vocals, guitars, drums and percussion
Ben Sandler: Bass
Dan Heims: Harmonica
Diane Chaplin: Cello
Annette Demsey: Piano
Itai Dewar, Diane Chaplin, Liz Schwartz: additional vocals on "Adonai S'fatai"


Todah Rabah (Many thanks) to:
-- God, The Great Whatever, for nudging me to work in your time instead of waiting for me to work in mine;
-- my beautiful Liz: wise counsel, best friend and the Spark that ignites my love;
-- my family, all of them, everywhere, for your support and patience;
-- my friends at Havurah Shalom and Congregation Beth Israel in Portland, Oregon, for welcoming each of my songs as they appeared on the horizon and for giving me places in Jewish community to learn how to feel more at home in;
-- my students at Congregation Beth Israel religious school, from whom I have learned so much;
--These individuals -- for musical, spiritual and/or practical guidance and support during this process, in no particular order: Rabbi Joey Wolf, Rabbi Michael Cahana, Rabbi Rachel Joseph, Cantor Ida Rae Cahana, Rabbi Alex Shuval-Weiner, Rabbi Arthur Nemitoff, Cantor Sharon Kohn, Rabbi Margaret Holub, Cantor Natalie Young, Scott Leader, Alison Westermann, Naomi Less, Glenn Grossman, Ben Sandler, Alicia Jo Rabins, Itai Dewar, Sari Peterson.
--My parents, Anton Hamon and Gloria Kaplan Hamon, both of blessed memory, for being my first music teachers. Mom and Dad, thank you for your many lessons, even the hard ones. Maybe especially the hard ones. I am a musician today in large part because of you.
************
Produced by Beth Hamon
Recorded November 10, 11 and 12, 2013 at The Map Room Recording Studio - Portland, OR
Engineering and mixing by Josh Powell
Mastering by Stuart Fessant, Indigo Groove Recording - Portland, OR
Photography by Beth Hamon
Front: Detail from a mural by Roger Peet, funded by a grant from the Regional Arts & Culture Council in Portland, Oregon and used with permission of the artist. Support public art!
Replication and printing: SuperDigital - Portland, OR
This recording Copyright 2013 by Beth Hamon. All rights reserved.
For bookings, lead sheets and other info: periwinklekog@yahoo.com

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Many, many thanks to the people who helped to make this project possible through contributions to my IndieGogo campaign, and to those who offered their support after the campaign ended:

Lisa Ann Green, Alison Westermann, Larry St. Cyr, Sari and Ron Peterson, Carole Barkley, Eric Platt, Eliana Light,  Lynne Fitzsimmons , JJ Heldmann, Ilene Safyan, Margie Rosenthal, Gretta Siegel, Barbara Bernstein, Susan Rosenthal, 
Sabrina Stein, Shuli Rutzick-Barazan, Cindy Merrill, Brian Olson, Rick and Doria Raetz, Robert Brown, Michael and Judy Heumann, Layton Borkan, Sandy Ramirez, Andrine de la Rocha and everyone else at Willow Cottage, Chris McCraw, Bryan Huitt, Debbi Ballard, Sagi Brin, Adam Bellows, David Leipziger, Michele Goldschmidt, Jill Neuwelt, Roger and Fran Schwartz, Andrew and Rodney Garland-Forshee, Diane Chaplin, Stephen Schwartz, Rabbi Rachel Joseph, Robert and Miriam Epstein, Joan Weil, Chris Coughlin, Susie Miller, Nancy Weintraub, Susan Brenner, Rabbi Arthur Nemitoff, and nine other individuals who wished to remain anonymous.

Because of your belief in my music, this album got made. Thank you.